It’s that time of year…again. Time to make a long list of all the things I’m going to do to make myself into a super awesome person – woo! – and change the world for the better – heck yeah! Okay wait… I have to start over again. It’s that time of year where I usually make a list of unrealistic goals with unbelievable deadlines that I’ll never meet. There. Much better. So this year I’m trying something a little different…

Kenda’s List of

Ridiculously Realistic and Obviously Obtainable

2013 New Year’s Resolutions

1.  If I open a can of soda, I will finish it. (or or pour it down the sink so no one knows)
2. I will use the phrase “fudgsicles and rootbeer” more often, for no reason.
3. I will buy 2 bags of Doritos so my family doesn’t complain about my stale Dorito addiction.
4. I will get an organizing system to put all my organizing systems in.
5. I will not bore my husband with ‘blog mama drama’….unless it’s really juicy.
6. I will stop explaining my jokes.
7. I will not text or email my husband while he’s sitting 4 feet away.
8. I will spend less time online…. ha. Not really.
9. I will try to sound less psycho with my compliments on Facebook.
10. I will clean out my inbox before I start screaming, “Where the #!@$ did that pitch go?!”
11. I will stop referring to myself in the Royal third person….out loud.
12. I will get dressed before noon. *Timezone yet to be determined.
13. I will resist the urge to yell, ‘That’s what SHE said’ when on the phone with my mother.
14. I will eat more bacon.
15. I will keep resolution #14.
16. I will stop referring to restaurant coffee as “swill”.
17. I will learn to stop swearing at autocorrect.
18. I will stop teaching my three year old how to act like a zombie….in public.
19. I will stop saying LOL in person.
20. I will say WTF more often in person.
21. I will stop blaming odd smells and stains on the kids.
22. I will get a dog to help me accomplish #21.
23. I will take better care of my Facebook farms.
24. I will not buy frivolous things…unless I really, really want them. Then it’s fair game.
25. I will start embracing my inner weirdo because life is just too short.